Explanations:

I have always preferred to watch life than live it! maybe its cuz i've always been overwhelmed by it, like huxley on his mescaline high; except that with me, the colours and textures are drawn from an emotional fabric.

its so hard to make sense of it all...

maybe i try to make sense of too much....

as i grow, i find myself jumping into the muck of existence more often. doing things without agonizing over them. making mistakes cuz i just have to make them. starting down paths the destinations of which i do not know.

but at the end of the day, i'll always be more of a thinker than a doer. and so here i am on my rocking chair...an old man in the body of a 20 yr old.... and here are my thoughts... or at least some of them ;-)

Fantasy

Do you know that i only read fantasy???? it came as quite a shock to me to realise that, as a 25 year old boy/man, i am still fascinated by a world of dragons and elves and magic. whats all the more interesting is that this wasn't always the case. i mean, i've always lived in my own little dream world...but a few years ago if you'd asked me to name some of my favourite books, you'd be hearing names like "the grapes of wrath", "to kill a mockingbird" and "such a long journey". but now... its just fantasy. now i'm raving about robin hobb and george r. r. martin.



so i came to thinking... why fantasy? its not just about the imagination, cuz there's quite a lot of imagination harnessed in other genres. its not about the simplicity of writing... cuz there are fantasy authors out there who command a psychological depth in their narration that could easily parallel the most astute philosopher.



then the answer began to emerge...



if you look at the industrial revolution as being a key feature of human development, fantasy represents a world before that revolution... where technology is strictly mechanical and man's knowledge of the environment is limited. in this world, science hasn't developed. there are no known natural laws. instead everything is enveloped in a shroud of mystery. there are "forces" at work, ascribed to gods or spirits or supernatural powers... and life is a wonderful adventure. indeed almost all fantasy novels involve a quest. in this world i become a 6 year old again- before i knew about electrons and protons, about biochemical reactions in the brain, and the internal combustion engine. before i could explain everything around me in terms of a rational set of rules. for that 6 year old boy, life is a mystery... fresh for the taking. like a cold winter morning with dew settled on the lush green grass. untouched. inviting. a whole new world just for me.



i could express it as an urge to feel what aldoux huxley felt in experimenting with mescaline. a richness of colour and texture that arrests our entire consciousness in a pulsing orgy of ecstacy.



in my world of fantasy, a dragon has not been boxed into some binomial system of nomenclature. an elf is not a human with a chromosomal abnormality. and forests are enchanted... not just unexplored.



call it escapism if you will... and perhaps it is... maybe i am like the hippies- hoping for a world that can never really exist. and maybe like them i will grow up, get a job and play with my grandchildren while sitting on my porch, on a rocking chair, with a glass of bubbly ;-). but in the meantime, you'll find me with my fantasy books, living in a world where i can... if only a for a minute... feel that exhilaration that reminds me that i'm alive.